Finding Frankfurt

by Sara · 17.07.2010 · Escapism · 7 comments

I grew up in the sub­urbs near Frank­furt, but I know it was the city rather than my homet­own that shaped me. I was to Frank­furt what a moth is to a flame — it attrac­ted me, it drew me in, it coughed me out a dif­fer­ent per­son. The sub­urbs made me long for some­thing big­ger, some­thing with a broader hori­zon and more. More of everything, but espe­cially of people.

This kind of attrac­tion was even­tu­ally my sealed fate to move to Berlin.

Going back home on a vaca­tion from work and life in Ber­lin is stress­ful, because it means mov­ing back in with my par­ents for a week (and even that can be a hassle). It means hav­ing to call thou­sands of people I haven’t seen in a while, it means mak­ing dates and hav­ing no time to relax. Some­times it feels like I left my old life back here and began a par­al­lel, dif­fer­ent life in Ber­lin. I try to com­bine them, but it’s dif­fi­cult. There is just too many thing still left here for me: fam­ily and friends. It was not the people who drove me away from Frank­furt, it was my own hunger.

And so, on a mis­sion to cap­ture what I love about my home, I strolled through the city. The dif­fer­ences between Frank­furt and Ber­lin are remark­able; Frank­furt is cleaner and obvi­ously wealth­ier, but Ber­lin has more youth and a rather pulsat­ing feel­ing to it. As a tour­ist, I’d prob­ably hate Frank­furt; but this is my home. Passing my home and my streets and my blocks makes me lit­er­ally ache with faded memor­ies. Faded, because they’re slowly being over­writ­ten by new memor­ies. Of Ber­lin, of being grown up, of being an adult and doing my own thing. It’s weird. I still don’t con­sider Ber­lin to be my home — home is where my fam­ily is. But at the same time, I don’t feel homely back here either.

I don’t know what this sen­ti­ment is, I don’t know if it’s good, I don’t know if it’s bad. I guess it’s just the way it is. I guess I just have to learn how to live with it.

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6 comments
  1. And, uh, yes. It’s obvi­ous that I love the skyline.

  2. fant­astic pho­tos! Makes me want to learn how to use my cam­era beter ;)

  3. Schöne, stim­mungs­volle Fotos. Toller Text!

  4. Such beau­ti­ful words about home, devel­op­ment and life. Thx.

  5. Frank­furt kann so schön und doch so häss­lich sein… Ich wohne auch in der nähe von Frank­furt, aber ich finde es hat sich verändert…

  6. Nice words & nice pho­to­graphs. Thx & I hope, you’ll find a home sometime.

What others had to say about it

  1. […] to go on vaca­tion right when all of my wis­dom teeth just ache to break out. So now I’m in Frank­furt. Again. I miss Ber­lin. I miss my bed. I miss sit­ting on the win­dowsill and just watch the stars and […]

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